Saturday, December 18, 2010

being made used of...

my sisters and family say that i'm sometimes too nice.
i get that too. i feel like i'm too nice and too much of a coward.
i hate to have my head stepped on by other people because of this but alas, it has happened one too many times.
i hate confrontations so i will go to lengths just to avoid fights and all that.
like, if we went to a restaurant and the waiter was being extremely rude to us, my cowardly self would just say "let it be...he'll get what's coming around to him these days." and my nice self would say "oh, it's alright. you know you shouldn't stoop to his level."

it gets hard when it comes to friends and family though. for instance, when friends ask you for help and you think "oh, it's ok. they're my friends after all." but your body is screaming "WHAT A TRIFLE LOAD OF WORK TO DO!!!! WHY? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU AGREE TO THAT???"

sigh. so yes, i'm not sometimes particularly proud of the fact that i'm too nice.
sometimes, i wished i could be a total b*tch. it makes life a whole lot easier.
but then my nice side would then again remind me ever so gently, "you shouldn't stoop to their level, dear. it makes things uglier and the world really could do with less evil people anyway..."
and thus, i'm forever doomed to remain too nice and too cowardly as well as too-easy-to-be-made-used-off. :)